(Ok, so I had WAAAAAY too much time on my hands today. All my projects are on hold, the auditors are reeling under the reams of documentation I shoveled upon them and have no answers for me, and my boss is, thankfully, leaving me the fuck alone to think for a few minutes. So, my mind started to wander. Sue me.)
I take these quizzes, and they always come up the same. They tell me I'm a Libertarian. However, most other people I talk to, well, they come up Libertarian, too. Which is odd. 'cuz if I were to come right out and ask each and every one of you, (well, except Lydia), "Hey, are you a Libertarian?", you'd say, "Nah, those people are nuts."
So my question is: do these quizzes just all default to Libertarian in the hopes of luring more voters? Or is there something to it?
After all:
My wife (hardcore Libertarian, makes Michael Badnarik look like a fair-weather supporter of the cause) calls me a whining liberal (yeah, go figure), because I'm not opposed to a national sales tax that pays for our roads, law enforcement and military. (Nevermind that I feel that anyone applying for welfare should be quietly offed so that they are no longer a financial burden on the taxpayer, I think that anyone who supports socialized medicine should be deported to Canada to see what it's really like, and that any member of congress who votes to fund any form of social program should be forced to watch as we eviscerate their children in front of them, moments before we tear out their eyeballs, cut off their hands and feet, deafen them, and remove their tongues, so they are left with only the screams of their loved ones as company for the rest of their miserable lives.) She claims I'm too dependant on the government to be a true Libertarian. (Personally, I like paved roads. I like the idea that, if someone steals my stuff or hurts my family, I can count on law enforcement to go and hunt them down. I feel safer knowing that my military is out there kicking the asses of people who wish to harm my country.) Thinking that, perhaps, she takes it slightly too far, I checked with the Libertarian websites, and, no, it turns out, from their view, I'm a lefty, 'cuz I like the idea of cops who are neutral, instead of cops who work for the highest bidder, and want our military budget increased. (After all, with no social programs wasting my money...)
So, I'm not a Libertarian.
My parents (Republicans, at least, so they think) call me a raging fascist because I think that any form of socialism should be countered with the most draconian of punishments for the people who enacted it (see above), I think that the government should be abolished and corporations allowed to run the country, and that, while I support legalizing any and all victimless crime (drug use/sale, prostitution, high rate lending, and removal of all government regulation of business in favor of the free market), for the things that remain illegal (such as rape, murder, child molestation, theft), I support swift and FINAL punishment. As in a .22 slug to the base of the brain at the moment the guilty verdict is read, have a nice day, and fuck you. Also, Republicans, lately, have meant big government, lack of immigration reform, and legislated morality. Fuck a bunch of that.
So, I'm not a Republican.
It only takes a couple of minutes surfing Democratic Underground or Daily Kos to realize that, since I think Lenin and Marx were wrong, Communism is bad, and appeasing the people who want to murder us all for no reason better than that we're not Muslims for me to realize that the Democrats hold no answers for me. And while I support the idea of gay marriage, I'm not sure I'm on board with, at least basing it on the vehemence I see on the lefty blogs, the theory that everyone in this country should be involved in a polygamous gay marriage and take at least 2 teenage kids across state lines each month to have an abortion. That just doesn't do it for me. Don't even get me started about the idea of "criminal rights", and a "living constitution."
So, I'm not a Democrat.
Every day, new stories get buried by the MSM showing that climate change has been a part of the earth since long before we came down from the trees. Since those are backed up by actual science, it's made me think that Global Warming must be bullshit.
So, I'm not a Green.
I like the idea of tightening our borders, while adding sanity to the legal immigration policy. I'm not too keen on a theocracy in the US, however.
So, I'm not a member of the Independant American Party.
Perot is a nutjob. His friends are nutjobs. He had some good ideas, but a raving paranoid is not someone I want with his finger on the nuclear trigger.
So, I'm not a Reformer.
What the hell am I?
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