Which is which?

Name the party:

	Party A	Party B
Establish "anti-smoking" laws, trying to use the nanny state to make all of the decisions for the citizenry.	Yes	Yes
Strong support by and of labor unions, to the detriment of the economy.	Yes	Yes
Want the government to be the primmary supporter for the people. Quote "We demand the state shall make its primary duty to provide a livelihood for its citizens."	Yes	Yes
Attack "the rich" for existing on unearned income (investments)	Yes	Yes
Strong advocates of nationalizing all large businesses	Yes	Yes
Bitterly complain that businesses make a profit off of war	Yes	Yes
Tried every trick in the book to take private land from owners, using tools like environmental issues, right of way, etc. Quote, "We demand...expropriation of land for communal purposes...abolition of rent and prohibition of all speculation in land.	Yes	Yes
Led by a brilliant speaker, swept into power with vague promises and surprisingly undetailed promises of hope and change	Yes	Yes
Use of simple catchphrases, repeated over and over	Yes	Yes
Citizens viewed party leader as almost messianic, with near religious devotion.	Yes	Yes
Offered something to everyone; work to the unemployed, prosperity to failed business people, profits to industry, social harmony and an end of class distinctions to idealistic young students, and restoration of glory to those in despair.	Yes	Yes
Looks to start a compulsory, government-run "youth brigade"	Yes	Yes
Desire for strong central government with all decisions needing to be controlled by a core group of elites who control the media, the government, the businesses, and the military.	Yes	Yes
Strong desire to disarm the population, first by registering all firearms, and then by rounding up the registered firearms from the citizens.	Yes	Yes
Enjoy the destruction of the Jews, either via concentration camp, or by supporting Palestinian terrorism	Yes	Yes
Unwilling to allow any dissenting voices against their party (Fairness doctrine, absolute control over the media)	Yes	Yes
Categorizes people based on race instead of merit	Yes	Yes

One is the National Socialist German Workers Party (Nazis) and one is the modern Democratic party. Indistinguishable.

Good Riddance, President Bush

Good riddance, President Bush!

You got us involved in a war that has lasted for years, and cost us billions of dollars predicated on a lie.

Oh, wait. Congress, including the full Senate Intelligence Committee, who had full access to information which is still classified on which they made their decision. And the intelligence services of 16 other countries backed that intel, and committed their own troops and resources to the fight.

Fine. In hindsight, maybe you acted rationally on that one, based on the information you had at the time. But the information was still a lie! There were no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq.

Well, I mean other than the loads of weaponized anthrax, sarin, ricin, mustard gas, and the artillery shells with which to deliver them, as well as enough semtex, C4, TNT, gunpowder, ANFO, and detonators so that, were they smuggled into the US and Europe and detonated, the population centers of western culture would be uninhabitable for 10,000 years. But Saddam would never have used WMD against civilians?

Yeah, I mean other than the Kurds. Who cares if he gassed them, they're only brown people. But you didn't find any NUKES! And you didn't find any terrorists! And you didn't find any link to Al Qaeda!

Well, I mean, other than the receipt books of payments to families of suicide bombers, dozens of terrorist training camps, and Al Quaeda in Iraq. Ok. Fine. But you did it without the approval of the UN! That proves you're a rogue terrorist who is just as bad as the dictators you overthrew! France and Russia, who have UN Security Council veto power said you weren't allowed to invade, you, you, COWBOY.

Well, yeah, I guess they didn't want us to find the weapons caches and nuclear fuel and refinement equipment that were sold to Iraq by Russia and France, but they still said you couldn't go, so you're a unilateral cowboy, and I hate you for it. You should have puleld out of Iraq when Harry Reid declared on the floor of the Senate that we had lost the war! You should have realized we were beaten at that point.

Ok, yes, fine, we won the war, and now we're looking at handing over to the Iraqis a stable and benevolent government where hundreds of thousands of their citizens aren't hauled off in the night and raped and tortured and butchered for the amusement of the sadists in the Ba'athist regime, but it wasn't our place to save those people! After all, they're brown! What's a million dead brown people to one dead American?

That doesn't even begin to get into what a mess you've made of the domestic situation. Look at the housing market! The prices have collapsed.

Well, you know, went back down to where they'd have been had they been following a normal inflationary curve, at least. Which still cost me money, Mr. Monkey-man. Yeah, sure, we all know it was because Clinton and Greenspan used the Fed to pressure Fannie and Freddy to back shaky mortgage loans so there'd be higher minority homeownership, so happy minorities would feel forever indentured to the Democrats and vote for them in perpetuity, but it was you and your big business cronies who caused my house prices to fall!

What do you mean, big businesses lost a hell of a lot more money than I did? Drop in the bucket for them! Wait. You say they went bankrupt? Thousands of people are out of work because the securities on which they predicated the loans were artifically inflated, and then when people started asking about the real value of the securities, the market fell apart on them? And this was all due to Chris Dodd and Barney Frank thwarting your administrations every attempt to gain more transparency into those organizations, and they flatly refused to open their books to the Fed or Congress to examine? Hmmm. Uh. Well, uh....global warming! You backed out of the Kyoto protocols! Greenhouse gasses are heating up the planet.

Yeah, I know that it's been getting progressively colder since 1998. That's just global warming. Those record cold winters are the result of warming. And yes, I'm aware that Jupiter recorded the exact same percentage increase and decrease in temperature over the last solar cycle as Earth did, but what do you expect. Jupiter is MADE of carbon - it's a greenhouse 343,000 times the mass of Earth, so it SHOULD warm up even more! It's probably the hottest place in the solar system! Mars is 95% carbon dioxide in its atmosphere, too, so it's gotta be hot as well! I don't care what the science says, the scientists who get paid huge grants to tell Democratic lawmakers what they want to hear say that it's warming, and so it's warming, Mr. McBushitlerburton. So don't you come at me with your "warming trend ended in 1998" and your "in the 70's, they thought we were heading into an ice age" propaganda! And speaking of propaganda, you forced the PATRIOT act on us, you bastard!

Well, ok, granted, Congress wrote and passed the law, but it was all your doing. Somehow. You and your warrantless wiretaps on American citizens. Sure, it's only on calls that cross overseas to suspected terrorists, but, c'mon, man, I know you were listening in on my hash brokerage deals, 'cuz you're a facist! And, yeah, I guess the Supreme Court upheld the rulings about FISA warrants, but you still SPIED ON INNOCENT AMERICANS! And that's wrong, Mr. Shrub. Well, yes, I know that we only had one terrorist attack on American soil during your watch, compared with 2 major bombings in the US and 2 American embassies destroyed under your predecessor, but, dammit, when Bill was in charge, the world loved us! And because you're a cowboy, the world hates you! They hate you because your war for cheap oil pushed the gas prices up over $4 per gallon!

Granted, yes, YOU didn't personally set the price, but it was your friends in the oil industry. And, yes, ok, the price they set was based off of the price they had to pay to get the oil, refine it, and deliver it to the station. And, yeah, I'll even give you that there was nothing that the administration or Congress could have done to change that, since those are private enterprises which are free to set their own prices, but, dammit, Curious George, you should have done SOMETHING! You should have made those thieving oil companies sell at a loss! Who cares how many people would have lost their jobs to pay for it, as long as my SUV could get me to Starbucks for under $2 / gallon! And what's with all this unemployment you caused?

Well, again, I know, it's because the market collapsed for mortgage backed securities, mixed with the high oil prices which we already covered. But George, you should have personally hired every fired person to come clear brush in Crawford for you. Well, yeah, I know there's not that much brush, and I know that many people wouldn't fit on the farm, but you should have done SOMETHING!

I mean other than work with Congress to reduce the capital gains taxes so that people would invest in growing businesses, and handing out those $1,200 economic stimulus checks which helped keep the economy afloat for a few months.

I guess the real reason I hate you, President Bush, is that President Clinton told me that I could blindly wander through the world, endlessly consuming and never paying, pointlessly pontificating and never thinking, and nothing bad would happen because of it, and then you had to go and ruin it all by demonstrating that it really does take 30 people with their feet on the ground to support one person with his head in the clouds. You had to go and wake us up to the fact that just because we tell the bad people we like them won't make them like us. You had to go and show us that there are consequences for our actions, and we despise you for it. Fortunately, the news media, Hollywood, MTV, the Daily Show, and the musicians were all there to tell me exactly what to think, so I wouldn't have to. Now that Obama's in office, we can go back to our comfortable blinders, and try to shut out reality.


Good Riddance, Mr. Bush. This personal responsibility thing was too hard for us.

Obama hires a plumber

Barack Obama discovers a leak under his sink, so he calls Joe the Plumber to come and fix it. Joe drives to Obama's house, which is located in a very nice neighborhood and where it's clear that all the residents make more than $250,000 per year.

Joe arrives and takes his tools into the house. Joe is led to the room that contains the leaky pipe under a sink. Joe assesses the problem and tells Obama, who is standing near the door, that it's an easy repair that will take less than 10 minutes.

Obama asks Joe how much it will cost. Joe immediately says, "$9,500."

"$9,500?" Obama asks, stunned. "But you said it's an easy repair!"

"Yes, but what I do is charge a lot more to my clients who make more than $250,000 per year so I can fix the plumbing of everybody who makes less than that for free," explains Joe. "It's always been my philosophy. As a matter of fact, I lobbied government to pass this philosophy as law, and it did pass earlier this year, so now all plumbers have to do business this way. It's known as 'Joe's Fair Plumbing Act of 2008.' Surprised you haven't heard of it, senator."

In spite of that, Obama tells Joe there's no way he's paying that much for a small plumbing repair, so Joe leaves. Obama spends the next hour flipping through the phone book looking for another plumber, but he finds that all other plumbing businesses listed have gone out of business. Not wanting to pay Joe's price, Obama does nothing. The leak under Obama's sink goes unrepaired for the next several days.
A week later the leak is so bad that Obama has had to put a bucket under the sink. The bucket fills up quickly and has to be emptied every hour, and there's a risk that the room will flood, so Obama calls Joe and pleads with him to return.
Joe goes back to Obama's house, looks at the leaky pipe, and says "Let's see - this will cost you about $21,000."

"A few days ago you told me it would cost $9,500!" Obama quickly fires back.

Joe explains the reason for the dramatic increase. "Well, because of the 'Joe's Fair Plumbing Act,' a lot of rich people are learning how to fix their own plumbing, so there are fewer of you paying for all the free plumbing I'm doing for the people who make less than $250,000. As a result, the rate I have to charge my wealthy paying customers rises every day.

"Not only that, but for some reason the demand for plumbing work from the group of people who get it for free has skyrocketed, and there's a long waiting list of those who need repairs. This has put a lot of my fellow plumbers out of business, and they're not being replaced - nobody is going into the plumbing business because they know they won't make any money. I'm hurting now too - all thanks to greedy rich people like you who won't pay their fair share."

Obama tries to straighten out the plumber: "Of course you're hurting, Joe! Don't you get it? If all the rich people learn how to fix their own plumbing and you refuse to charge the poorer people for your services, you'll be broke, and then what will you do?"

Joe immediately replies, "Run for president, apparently."

Mulligan

So, the bailout isn't working. First, there's the whole, "Well, we're not really going to buy the troubled assets with that $700B." Then, not only do the fatcats who made the bad decisions in the first place get to keep their money, and our money, now they're getting a further $2T in loans, and not disclosing where the money is going!

Shock among shocks, though, other failing businesses, seeing that they can keep their shoddy business practices and still rake in billions of dollars, such as the auto industry, are now trying to get their hands on cash.

So, if the government is going to be in the business of deciding which businesses stay or go, it is time for the government to become a business. First of all, it will give them an idea of how to run a business. Secondly, it's hardly fair that they have the right to confiscate cash at gunpoint from the citizenry, and give it to their friends. So, I call a Mulligan on Article I, and have an idea of how we can still save America. Hear me out.

Step one is that the government is to be run like a for-profit business. Every American is granted one share in the corporation, and the goal is to make sure that the shareholders get the best possible dividends. The shares can be bought, sold, and traded on the Nasdaq, but, and this is important, you get an equal number of votes to the number of shares you have. If you have no shares of AmeriStock, you have no vote. People with nothing to lose have absolutely no problem voting to make other people lose. While that would make the price of the stock go extremely high, most people would feel that their vote is worth more than the money being offered for it. This would be a good thing.

Now, it's not fair to have a corporation that can come in and take your cash from you by force. That's not exactly a level playing field. Therefore, we repeal the ability of Congress to pass any taxes at all, whatsoever, on anything. The government has to EARN its money, the same way everyone else does. Now, since it DOES have responsibilities to the people, we're going to give them some leeway. All existing roads, police departments, fire departments, government buildings, etc., will be wholly owned subcorporations of the government. I can already hear you asking, "Well, how will they raise money?" Good question.

• Toll roads. They'll simply set up toll booths on every highway, and at every entrance/exit to different subdivisions, and so forth. That will pay for the roads and construction. CAVEAT: Private companies will be able to build toll roads, too. When faced with competition, the government may rethink its stance on unions, and bloated bureaucracies. People will take the cheaper private roads at first. The government, needing cash, will reduce prices to get business, and reduce costs to keep the prices low. This helps everyone win.
• Fire departments: (Not to toot my own horn, but this is genius.) All the fire departments will be rounded up under a single Fire Department corporation, which will allocate its funds in the same way a business puts capital where it's needed. The funding will come from charging a premium to the insurance companies. After all, a fire department that limits the amount of damage done to a home, and keeps the fire from spreading, saves the insurance company tons of money in payouts. It's insurance for the insurance companies. True, to pay this, they'll raise premiums a bit, but, remember, you're not paying taxes anymore.
• Police departments: They'll ALSO charge premiums to insurance companies. (After all, you have to have separate fire and flood policies, why not have a separate crime policy.) Furthermore, they can raise money by busting drug dealers, money launderers, etc., and keeping their cash. WIN!
• The IRS. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. They're gone. Personally, I'd like to see a law passed that, after the IRS is disbanded, any former employee of the IRS is not to be hired, and that it's legal to horsewhip and rape them in public. After all, that's what they've done to us since the 16th Amendment was passed. Fuckers.

Anyway, you get the point. They'll have the means to obtain cash. They'll have competition to keep them lean. People will pay for what they use, and not pay for what they don't use. Then, at the end of the fiscal year, whatever is left over can be distributed among the shareholders. Score!

The lawmakers would be bending over backwards to make sure that the legal climate was friendly to growing businesses. Employment would skyrocket. (After all, people on welfare would suddenly find themselves pretty damned hungry, and businesses would no longer have to worry about punitive, confiscatory tax levels keeping them from hiring new people.) Investment capital would flow into the US from around the globe, as people took advantage of the tax situation. (Look at Ireland, for an example of what can happen by dropping the corporate income tax.) Bailouts of bad business practices would be a thing of the past. (You fuck up the mortgage market, you fail. People who still have money move into that space.) Unions would be gone - no more $108K / year in total compensation for a forklift operator.

It's time to take back America. Let's start with this plan.

Wasting a sacrifice

In 1776, brave men fought, and many died, to protect us from a powerful, overarching central government that made unreasonable demands of the citizens lives, liberties, and properties.

From then until 1860, men argued over what the rights of the people in this newly free land should be allowed to do. In 1860, enough people in enough states grew so fed up with the size and scope of the Federal Government, and the meddling in the affairs of soverign states in direct violation of the 9th and 10th Amendments, that they seceded from the union. Many, many thousands of young Americans died as a result of the Federal Government not being willing to relenquish any of its power. Abraham Lincoln sewed the seeds for oppression and tyranny to come, under the guise of freedom.

In 1932, Franklin Delano Roosevelt so massively expanded the size and scope of the Federal Government that it would have been wholly unrecognizable to the original framers of the Constitution. All state powers were stripped away, and handed to the Feds. New agencies were created to strip the wealthy of their earnings and give it to underachievers.

In 1941, thousands of Americans went to war, and died, to protect the rest of the world from powerful central governments that made outrageous demands on the lives, liberties and properties of their citizens, and the lands around them that they subjugated.

A few years later, we did the same in Korea.

A few years later, we did the same in Viet Nam.

A few years later, we did the same in Kuwait.

From 1944 until 1991, we engaged in a Cold War against a system of government that was a strong, totalitarian, central government that made unreasonable demands of the lives, liberties and properties of its subjects.

In 2003, we removed a dictator from power who murdered his own people, had a strong, overarching central government that left its people in terror, in poverty, in misery.

For 232 years, America stood out as a beacon of hope against strong central government, even though from 1932 until 2008, it was being, at best, somewhat hypocritical.

In 2008, we elected a man to the White House, and weasels to Congress, who want to confiscate wealth from all who achieve, who will gladly impoverish you for saying the wrong thing (anything not politically correct can be considered hate speech under the 111th Congress), who will murder you for the crime of being unborn and carried by a liberal host vessel, and will imprison people for "hate crimes" that are, in many ways, simple expressions of free speech. (For example, if one were to hang the new president in effigy outside of one's house.) So, 232 years after the founding fathers built up a land based on the preservation of life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness, we have elected a government that will take your life, liberty and property without due process any time the feel.

Since we've now lost the freedoms for which they died, can we at least have the soldiers' lives back?

Predictions for the next four years.

I'm leaving this out here for posterity, so I cannot go back and say, "I never said that." Feel free to call me on any of those things on which I'm wrong. If I'm right, though, make sure you acknowledge those, too.

Let's start with economics:

• The Employee Free Choice act will get passed. This will allow union thugs to strong-arm people into accepting unions whether they want to or not. Companies that can do business from abroad will move overseas.
• The Play or Pay healtcare tax, which, based off of campaign speeches, will impose a confiscatory tax on any employer not covering 100% of healthcare costs for employees. This will lead to layoffs among many companies.
• The removal of the cap on the payroll tax will increase the tax burden on small financial firms and other small businesses, forcing layoffs.
• Rolling back the Bush tax cuts at the onset of a recession will drop us into a depression.
• The removal of the capital gains tax breaks will keep the housing market stagnant, as nobody will want to sell even when the market recovers, due to the overwhelming tax imposed there.
• The new punitive taxes will further decrease investment in the US, lengthening the depression.
• The role of the government in all aspects of one's life, including Healthcare and day care will expand, at the cost of all taxpayers.
• Millions more illegal immigrants will pour into the country to take advantage of these programs.
• The Dow will remain under 10,000 until several cycles after the new crop of anti-business leftards are swept out.

Civil Liberties:

• The "Fairness Doctrine" will be revived. Political appointees will determine if any media is presenting fair and balanced opinion coverage. Somehow, they'll dismiss the open leftist bias of the major networks, but will shut Fox news down.
• There will be a ban on the manufacture, sale, and possession of firearms, as Obama tried to pass in Illinois.
• Net Neutrality will be used to silence conservative alternative media.
• Voting rights will be granted to illegal aliens.
• Voting rights will be granted to felons.
• After the 2010 census, districts will be gerrymandered to ensure near-total incumbent re-election
• Congress will pass a reparations bill. Invest in Popeye's and Schlitz, y'all.

Foreign Policy

• Russia will become belligerent, and attempt to take over the middle east. (Whoops! This has already started: http://www.cbc.ca/world/story/2008/11/05/medvedev-speech.html)
• Hamas and Hezb'allah will become emboldened by the idea of a President who will not stand up for America's alliances with Israel.
• Israel will suffer from a major war, probably nuclear. Iran will supply nukes to Syria and Lebanon, who will destroy Israel. The blood of millions will be on the hands of every Obamunist.
• North Korea will re-launch its bid to capture South Korea, and bring it back into the communist fold.
• Russia will reclaim many of the Baltics and other satellites.
• Russia will destroy the Georgian government, and install a puppet government.
• There will be a large expansion of Muslim control of sub-Saharan africa, replete with genocide of non-believers, which will not be stopped by appeaseniks in congress or the White House.
• Iran, finally able to bring America to the negotiating table, led by a pussy, will impose demands on us along the lines of relinquishing our seat on the UN Security Council, renoucning our alliance with Israel, and removing all of our troops from the middle east. If we fail to do any of these, they will blockade the Suez canal against American tankers, crippling us due to our steadfast refusal to allow domestic drilling.

These are my predictions. I may add more as time goes on, but I promise I will not remove or change (except to further clarify any ambiguities above) any of these. Let's see if I was right.

The Declaration of Dependence

Washington, DC - November 4th, 2008
(With apologies to Thomas Jefferson, Ben Franklin, John Adams, and the other founding fathers.)


When in the course of human events it becomes necessary for one people to absolve themselves of personal responsibility and hand sovereign power over all aspects of their lives to faceless bureaucrats, adopt the "some for me, taken from thee" statement of the entitlement mentality, and willingly shackle themselves to the crushing wheel of serfdom and indentured servitute, it is incumbent upon these people to explain to the world why they have opted for bondage.

We have been force-fed these truths by the media, our schools, and the constant bleat of public sentiment, that while no men are created equal, with the proper confiscatory taxation and hobbling of those with greater ability we can ensure that all outcomes are equal; that all people are endowed by the government for as long as Congress shall see fit with rights to life unless they're pre-natal, liberty, as long as they're not speaking against the government, and the goods of their harder working neighbors. -- That to secure these rights, we will enact a police state, justify our powers by allowing the government to increase them at will, and have a press that is so completely subservient to the totalitarian state, --That whenever a government tramples the rights and the liberties of the people, the government shall reach out to crush the dissenters, and the people shall have no right of remedy, or we'll take away your taxpayer funded healthcare. Prudence be damned, the government must be malleable and change to the winds of public opinion polls, so long as said opinion polls agree that the state shall be large; experience has shown that mankind likes to suffer under the yoke of repressive regimes, and, in fact, prefer that to doing anything about changing the unsufferable regimes. But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same Object evinces a design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to ask for more such Government, and say they're doing it for the children. Such has been the doe-eyed, mindless following by the masses in our last twenty elections or so, and now comes the necessity to to alter their constraints and consecrate them with a new, more openly oppressive government. The King of Great Britain had nothing on elected officials. Observe:

• Our elected officials pass laws openly in contrast with the principles of self-reliance, individualism, and capitalism under which the Colonies were first formed into a sovereign nation, undermining that which once made us great, in the name of promoting some form of fairness.
• They have suspended the 9th Amendment, taking most legislative initiative away from the governors and congressional bodies of the states.
• They have contorted the equal opportunity, affirmative action, and other Title IX laws to the point where America is essentially an apartheid state, ruled by tiny racial minorities and the absolute terror at the idea of offending them.
• They have appropriated military and governmental transport to get to and from Congress at the expense of the taxpayer, instead of funding cross country jaunts and international junkets out of their campaign chests.
• They have gerrymandered and redistricted along racial and income lines to ensure near 100% incumbency ratios.
• The Congress has labored to allow non-citizens and felons the right to vote and change the outcome of our elections.
• The Congress has passed innumerable taxes, to the point where citizens work for the government from January 1st to July 15th solely to cover that tax burden, and then pay sales taxes on whatever is left.
• They have erected a multitude of New Offices, and sent hither swarms of Officers to harass our people and eat out their substance. (Hey, when they do the same things King George did, I can just copy and paste from the original.)
• They have affected to render the Military impotent, and answerable to the lawyers of enemy combatants.
• They have imposed tarriffs for the sole purposes of propping up failed domestic businesses, instead of encouraging the competition that strengthen product lines and leads to new innovations and growth.
• They have used trial by media, and distortions of fact, to cripple any who oppose their ideals of total control over our lives.
• They have determined that smoking, trans-fats, and numerous other enjoyable habits are potentially dangerous to the consumer, and therefore illegal.
• They have plundered our treasury, left us unable to mine materials from our own coasts, and denied us energy independence to pander to lunatic religious factions in faraway lands.
• They have used the entitlement mentality to incite riots among us whenever people didn't get what wasn't rightfully theirs.

In every stage of these offenses, a smaller and smaller number of dissenting voices can be heard; the sea of humanity thirsting for unearned rewards, for lives of luxury at the expense of the productive, for earnings with neither risk nor labor - drowns out the voices calling for actual justice, for true fairness, for real liberty; fatigue at railing against an impenetrable wall of selfishness disguised as charity, of despotism disguised as fairness, of injustice paraded as justice is more effective than the bullets of the Redcoats which, while they killed our bodies, did not kill our spirits.

It is not for lack of trying that our message doesn't get heard. However, the press is monolitic in its support of repressive regimes, deciding what information gets made public and what does not, in the hopes of coercing the voters to support the new totalitarian state. A four-decade long war has finally been won by the masters of media; the rise of Internet blogging came too late, after most brains were addled by 15-second attention spans, and a steady diet of pablum and pandering parading as news.

We therefore, as the voters of the United States, formally throw in the towel and accept our new overlords who will force upon us arugula and smoking bans in our homes; who will demand absolute religious worship at the altar of atheism; who will burn as heretics the champions of capitalism; who will destroy an entire global economy to ensure that one person to lazy to learn to read gets a flat-panel TV. We, the Americans, have clearly decided to abdicate personal responsibility and arrange for all of our decisions to be made by the government. We will not rest until every worker is paying 100% of their income to taxes, so that we can all have government provided services for all of our needs. We will welcome the new regulations on what we can see, hear, think and believe. We sign this Declaration of Dependence with our votes this November 4th. Bring on the taxpayer-funded Medicinal Marijuana, I have a pain that will last the rest of my life.